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Guess who is a year older o____o


Happy Birthday me XD

I'll post pictures!

We had birthday week, so there were a lot of things that went on this week.

Dinner last Friday at Sushiyama
Dave & Busters on Monday
Karaoke on Tuesday Night
Dinner on this Friday @ Genroku & Birthday cake! YAY!
Then Six flags today!

Tomorrow we get free ice cream and I'm not sure what else I'm doing o_o we'll see.

XD Fun fun fun.

Scary dream

I had the scariest dream, it was this morning, I had woken up way late for class >< STUPID and so I just went back to sleep XD Since I didn't have another class until 2:30...

Well... anyway I had a scary scary dream. It was a full color dream, and very detailed.

I was near Dallas, in a shop, Kristy was there with me. I know we could see big buildings, so we weren't very far from Dallas, but not actually in it. Then suddenly we heard this boom and then like air... like sucking, it's hard to explain. And people started screaming, and I remember seeing this cloud wall and debri coming towards us. I ducked behind one of the shelf thingys and people were screaming, it was seconds when all the glass shattered and things were flying, people were screaming and crying, and a few seconds later it was over and there was this low smoke... stuff and someone else was there saying it was an neuclear bomb and it hit south of us and I guess we were lucky we were far enough away that it didn't kill us upon impact, but we still felt some of the wrath of it. People were crying, and I went to use my cell phone to call people to make sure they were all okay but there was no cell phone connection. Everything around us was destroyed. I was thinking it was a nuclear attack then breathing the air and being in the area was a bad idea. I remember taking one of the tshirts and using it to wrap around my face. The buildings in the distance were gone and there was debri everywhere.

We began walking away from the debri, There were some dead bodies around as well, some of them were completely burned up, their faces not even recognizable anymore. After walking for a while, we were offered a ride by someone who was able to drive away, most of the cars were completely destroyed so I'm not sure how they got to use their car... but anyway we got north enough close to my house and things were destroyed but not near the destruction we saw where we were. Some windows were broken, and stuff though. We got inside and my family was listening to a radio and they said something about several attacks on America. I think they said it was North Korea, but I don't know, I think that was a theory on the radio, but I'm not sure.

I remember panicking though because I was scared, I was scared about what was going to happen to America and also scared because I was worried about the radiation on MY body. I was scared what would happen to us. I've read books >< and I know radiation will kill you, and I was closer than a lot of people. I don't remember much else then that. I know we left Dallas and went to Mississippi but I don't know.

LOL it was just a scary dream, seeing all the things that happened, all the destruction and dead bodies and thinking I would be dying too and there wasn't anything that I could do to stop that, it was a helpless feeling.

Anyway o_o I gotta go get ready for class... later

The Tudors

I have, at last, finished the second season of the Tudors.

I have to say finishing off the Second Season, I'm really sad, and I'm feeling a lot of hate towards Henry. I have read countless books and watched movies and television shows about the Tudor Family and this is the FIRST series where I felt so sorry for both Catherine as well as Anne. I cried for Anne at the end, it was so sad... AUGH STUPID HENRY... I was also angry with Mary for taking out her anger at Elizabeth, I know Mary was pleased that she would no longer be Bastard, but to wish that upon little Elizabeth is wrong too, isn't it? Especially when Elizabeth did nothing to Mary, it was Anne she hated, not Elizabeth.

I think they really captured the essence of human nature in the show, their fascination with death, their hatred towards each other, and the ever changing favors between people and even between kingdoms. It's ridiculous, and true.

I can't wait for the third season, although I've heard that Lady Jane Seymour will be played by someone else because the actress they had in the second season did not want to do a nude scene, or something of that nature.

Anyway, for those of you who haven't seen The Tudors, I highly recommend it! It's a really well made series!

Now, I'm off to bed. Good night.


AUGH people make me SO mad.

I hate days like this, today just sucked, and to top it all off, I don't feel good either, so, it's all just sucking today.

Well this morning, was easy enough to get up, because I couldn't sleep soundly at all past 9 am, which made me so mad, because I was sleepy, I just couldn't sleep. HATE that. So I finally dragged myself out of bed, and then got ready for work.

My manager was in a super bad mood, he got mad at me cause I keep requesting days off, well, I'm SORRY. I haven't requested a day off this whole entire summer, you can FREAKING SUCK IT UP. Then we had a ton of returns, and he just takes his effing anger out on me, well, I don't need this crap, I was seriously about to be like SCREW THIS, I'M OUT. So, tomorrow, yes, I am filling out applications. I will not be a polo slave any longer.... I won't leave until I get my 50 dollars giftcard though damnit. ><

Then, today is the last day before my Mom gets back from Colorado, the day I can stay out super late without anyone saying anything or making a smart comment to me or anything, my last day of FREEDOM, and so I call EVERYONE. Even Heather.. Heather has no MONEY, because she went to california with her BOYfriend, besides she already saw the black knight, Anne didn't help at all, I'm still mad at her for not calling me about fireworks on the 3rd of July, when the week before she was like "yeah! I'll call you if we end up going! I don't know if I'm going!" and then there's pictures up on her facebook and saying about how much fun she had, well that's great Anne, guess what I did? I sat at home, aw, how fun. So I called her anyway, and she doesn't want to go because she already saw the movie too, and she's like "well everyone went to see it on premire night!" and I'm like well... awesome, no one told me we were all going to see it on premire night. Apparently no one tells me anything anymore. Only I didn't say that, but damnit I was thinking it. So I def got into one of my moods, you know how I do..

So, I stomped around the house, talking to no one in particular like a crazy person.

Then I sang really loudly to let out frustration but that only made my head hurt, so now I'm sitting here trying to download Prince Caspian, because no one would see that movie with me either.

I'm about to freaking give up on my friends down here, I'm ALWAYS the one trying to put things together and trying to get people together, but everyone always does things on days they KNOW I work, and lately they haven't called me at all, and they're all like "aw I miss you, you're always working!" and I'm seriously one day going to snap back "I'm off every fucking tuesday and thursday." And I don't even work till late, it's not like they can't do something AFTER FIVE. SERIOUSLY.


So I'm just going to complain about this trivial thing right now. I'm just sick of living here. SERIOUSLY, The happy!pro girls are like the only girls that I can hang around anymore, because all my other friends decided to be fuckers lately.

And I really miss my friends in Ohio too... Y_Y I REALLY NEED SOME GOOD SHOPPING THERAPY! Someone please come save me >< ARG.

Anyway u_u... that's all, I just needed to complain for sure... cause I'm just getting so fed up with people hah....
Well, things haven't stopped in my house. The other night, I was practicing dance rehearsal, out of nowhere I felt this overwhelming feeling of... like lonliness but anger for being like left behind. It really like.. took me over emotionally, I had to sit down and like think things through... I don't think those were my emotions. That was the first time I think I've ever FELT something that someone else felt, like As if *I* was feeling it myself. Sometimes though, I can still catch the emotion or feelings of others without talking to them, well with living people anyway. It actually gets kind of useful at work XD but at the same time, I can get really annoyed at people in the store without really talking about them... which is just weird. I've been trying to figure out what it is, cause I just have always figured I'm like super sensitive to spirits or whatever since this is the 2nd house that something like this has happened. Kristy who is more familar with this stuff than I am kept saying she thinks I'm clairvoyant. I watched a show, and there was a thing they called Clairvoyant Empath. Which means like... you can catch emotions of spirits but also of the living too. So that was like O_O woah to me. I'm like so that's what I can do. I don't though, because it's happened more often recently.

In middle school though, thinking back, there were times when I could like grasp emotions from people, or in one case that is still vivid in my mind, I was leaving a classroom over at Heritage Middle School and I had like the freaking star wars theme in my mind, this is before I even would consider watching it, I hated all that kind of stuff XD and I was like wtf... I don't even know this stupid theme, and then as I exited, in the classroom next to me, there was one kid like humming it with his friends, and I'm like O___o I don't think I ever actually shared that with anyone... but I don't know, I guess that's kind of similar.

There's just small things like that, they add up together. I don't know if that's why I can like sense whatever it is in the house, and it makes sense. I don't know o_o;; I really don't know what to say. I really don't know who to talk to about this kind of stuff, since my parents don't believe me at all. My Mom does think there MAY be something in this house, but my Dad doesn't believe any of it. But yeah... so, I'll just keep posting about it here.

Anyway, things beside that have been hectic, lots of rehersal, stress, too much work, but I'm also excited for Alyssa and her engagement! A lot is happening and I def haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately, which isn't good XD But I'll survive.

All righty~ Well I'm off! <3

In a Daze

Wow, today has been crazy..

Last night, I was plagued with strange dreams, that may have some meaning behind them. The one I remembered when I woke up, I know there were like 3 or 4 of them, and I woke up several times...but I only really remembered one when I woke. I was looking into this circular room, it was like... half of a globe, kind of, and it has all these beams in it, but there were no windows or doors. There was this demon creature in there, but I wasn't afraid of him, and Heather was in there, but she was afraid. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't move, I was like stuck watching, so I'm not sure if I was actually there or not... but she was pregnent O_o; I don't know how I knew that, but I did. And I know the demon creature was getting closer to her, and I wanted to help, but there was no way I could.

o_o;; it's kind of weird XD The sad thing is, I think it might be... symbolic in some ways. I tend to have symbolic dreams, and sometimes prophetic ones too... which I hope this isn't one of them, heh. But she IS in california right now with her BOYfriend, so... I mean what can I do? Call her and tell her to use protection? LOL cause that'd be awkward. "Yeah, I had this dream that you got pregnant and I think your BOYfriend is a demon who is out to get you. So make sure you use protection, kay?" O_o specially since I haven't talked to her in so long.... =sigh= So maybe that's what it means, by I feel like I can't help. I mean... I guess I really could in this situation, but it really doesn't matter if I told her or not, I mean, would that really change her mind about anything? Because she has this mindset that she's invincible and that she's right about this, when she's not.... I on the other hand AM right about this, what she's doing is gross, not to mention illegal... >< augh.. I don't even want to worry about this, give me something good to dream about XD Give me a dream where I'm meeting this hot guy <3 That sounds good XD

Which reminds me about the super cute boy at work today, he goes to Baylor, he's majoring in Financial Advising and Accounting. He graduated the same year as me, in Plano. And his smile was absolutely devine! =D DEF my type. Not only that, he works at POLO o_o that means... he's just like me XDD I talked to him for awhile, lol... I felt like I needed to, after my manager when he was showing him what to do to help out with the childrens clothes, Sam, "broke the ice" by telling the guy that I'm single. LOL wtf. XD that's not breaking the ice.... Oh well XD Well... >_> *shrugs*

I need to get more sleep... 5 hours a night isn't working, but it's like even though right now, I'm exhausted, I can not sleep. I put on music, I count, I try clearing my mind, nothing works... it's not until about 5:30 or 6 am that I'll eventually fall into sleep. I know yesterday I saw the sunrise again, and I'm like... shit this sucks. XD I feel like such a Vampire... These habits NEED to stop... Seriously...

Anyway, I'm not feeling so good~ so I'm going to head off for now.... try to get to sleep before 5.

My Retarded Haunted House

So, as many of you know, my house is effing messed up, and I swear, that it's haunted.

I think I'm like super sensitive to presences of spirits or something, because I'm always the first to realize it. Since we moved in, I've been scared of the guest room, I always have to have that door shut, or I freak out because I seriously feel like someone is in there watching. Even watching TV in the media room, which is close by the guest room, even if the door is closed, I still get weird feelings towards that room being close to it. I've had dreams of a spirit in that room. And then when one of my friends didn't believe me, that night she got an unwelcomed scare and experiences she couldn't explain.

I think pretty much everyone who has stayed in my house, or been into the guest room can say that there's something weird there, most of my friends have had experiences in my house.

For about 4 months now though, the feeling was gone, I was actually able to go into the guest room without fear and practice in there, I was able to watch TV without getting weird feelings and even if the guest room was opened, I didn't notice it. It was like whatever was in my house had left completely.

Then about 4 or 5 days ago, things started up again, only a little more fierce this time. For 3 nights in a row now, I have been unable to sleep until daybreak.

The first night, it was already about 4 am, but I had the lights off and I had turned off my music because it was distracting me from sleep and then my wooden chest, I had an extra blanket and pillow on there from when I had a sleepover last, and those fell off and the lid to the wooden chest propped open suddenly. I turned around hearing the creak in the dark, and I could see vaugly through the dark that the blanket and pillow were on the ground and the chest was open, and I'm like wtf... and I figured there was something in there that opened it or something... but it's weird because that blanket and pillow have been there for 2 weeks now... so why would it open now? To me, that just seems strange. So I woke up startled and couldn't sleep, turned on music and struggled to sleep, and my mind went to my fears of aliens hah, not ghost...

The Second night was not as bad, but not great. I read until about 5 anyway, so that wasn't good, because I couldn't put the stupid book down, and I had to work the next day so def. not good. So anyway, I force myself to stop on one chapter, I'm checking my facebook one more time, because I'm an addict and there's like a knocking on the wall by my closet... and just for everyones information who has never been to my house, that wall outside my room, there is no way you can knock on it, unless you can fly or you have a long broom or something... because it is a really open house on the inside and... yeah... there's just no way. I brushed it off, but I began connecting the two nights together and I was a little bit scared at this point, and there were some more little noises like footsteps outside, and I literally was laying in my bed, I kept my laptop open for a bit of light, and I saw the breaking of dawn through closed blindes, the light started to pierce through the side of the blindes. Had a rough morning getting up.. I was so tired.

Night 3- Was the worst.. ever. Actually, probably the most activity in one night that I have EVER experienced in one night. Well, I'm watching TV, and there are noises in the guest room, like someone is in there, I leave because I'm freaking myself out, and I go to my room and read instead. There's a scratching at my door, so I'm scared to go to the bathroom now, I eventually do venture out of my room, but I was super cautious because I was so paranoid and I kept feeling like there was something outside of my room. I eventually text kristy because I'm scared, and I keep hearing noises and footsteps and what not. But she finally says shes going to bed at, I think it was 5:30- and we're both watching the dawn and I'm still awake a scared but I turn off the lights and eventually fall into a sleep. At about 6:30 I wake up to a voice. No effing joke. It was a womans voice but it was deeper... kind of a rough voice, not gentle at all, but she said "no, she wouldn't." OR something along those lines. I opened my eyes wondering wtf is going on and who the hell is in my room at this time, and it came from where the chest is, and I sit up and I look around and I'm so sleepy and I'm like what the fucking hell, let me SLEEP. And I'm getting annoyed and grouchy and I remember whispering something along the lines of "wtf do you want, leave me alone" and I lay back down and fall into sleep again.

When I woke up and rethought what happened, it kind of scares me. I've been under the impression that a boy was in the house, a younger man, but this was def a woman, and wtf was she talking about, and who the hell is she and what happened to the boy and why was she in my room, and why can't they let me sleep well for one night.

I feel so exhausted, and I'm scared of my effing mind anytime night rolls around, so much that even though I'm exhausted, I can't sleep... and it's starting to drive me over the edge, today, I was so grouchy and my temper is short... I just don't know what it is. Kristy thinks I'm some kind of clairvoiant? IS that right? I can't read the text anymore... stupid phone. XD I don't know if I spelled that right, or what it really is actually, I should look it up. But yeah, I don't know, I think it's just my stupid house. This house has always given me the creeps, more so than my old house.

I don't think this is the only house with these problems though, just on the corner, the people who live in that house, no one stays over 2 or 3 months, it's always on sale... ALWAYS. It's just weird...

I don't know, I just hate that I have no other proof than my own word... I told Misa and Kristy about it, so we may try to do something o_o communicate with it or something, it's just super strange... and I want to know what it wants, so I can sleep... and it can stay in the guest room, but dude my room o_o is my room... that's a no spirit zone... unless it's my spirit XD

Hah... I'll try to take this in good humor, but it's really starting to freak me out a bit :\ I don't know what to do about it.

A-kon 19 and Berry Cute performance!

All right, so this is my report! You can skip ahead to the performance part ify ou don't want to hear about my crappy weekend XD

Crappy WeekendCollapse )

SATURDAYCollapse )

I feel like I'm still recovering from the weekend. I just got my appetite back, but apparently everyone had gotten sick, so there was some kind of a virus going around.

Overall, it was the worst con I had been to. LOL, really, the only reason I enjoyed it, were the happy pro girls and the performance. Even though that was the reason for my exhaustion, I'll take it. It was worth it. And I'd do it again, hell if I have to be that exhausted every weekend of a performance, I'd still do it. Because in my mind, performing is everything, it really fuels me and gets my adrenaline pumping and there's nothing else like it.


Here's some pictures!




Sooo remember that weird dream that I remember so vividly? Well my friend is borrowing me the next book in the 'A great and terrible beauty" series, called "Rebel Angels", well there's one part that was TOTAL dejavu O_O and like... they're in the forest and they're hiding and there's this smell of DECAY covering the area and this horrible creature was there o_o it was a tracker for circe.

Well anyway-> the whole decaying smelling creature TOTALLY reminded me of the soul sucking creature in my dream o_o;; I was like woah *goes to make livejournal post about it XD*


So next weekend is our performance o_o yup... my costumes only a little more than halfway done. The costumes were HARD to make this time >_< holy crap. Didn't think it'd be so technical but it is o__o;; But I'll finish. I HAVE to finish.

But I'm really excited, we got TWO photoshoots scheduled on Saturday one by Eurobeatking and one by kuragiman. O_O So I'm a bit excited for all of it. And then I have a meeting with the people who run AFEST so o___o depending on how that goes, we may or may not get a show for afest. I'm praying lol.

uwa but so much to do *sighs* I finally have to dance down. I just gotta nail it into my head enough that I can put on a good performance. I've been practicing an hour every night and then yesterday we had a 5 hour practice. I gotta finish putting the cut with the vocals, and we'll be ready! =D

<3 anyway ^^ I'm off I want to keep reading o_o


Oh goodness. Why am I so obsessed with that damn book.


XD goodness. That got a good laugh out of me... maybe I'm too mentally exhausted XDD and anything is funny at this point. That's very possible.

On a side note!

O_O Tomorrow I'm travelling to the wonders of the fashion design district in Dallas! =D Fabrics EVERYWHERE and cheap o__o I love that place. I have a problem... see... I buy fabric >_> but tend to make very little out of it. XDDD I'm like omg this is cute, I could make **** and I could use the rest to make **** but then never do. Yup.... I'm just so darned lazy. Someone slap me.

I also need to find these vocal and dance classes I want to take this summer, because damnit, I'm going to be an idol. I WILL be a singer in Japan o__o if it's the LAST THING I DO. Even if I have to act gangsta and be a enka singer. IT will happen. I'll be... Jera (refrence to Jero-> the new popular african-american-japanese enka singer-> look at youtube silly)

Let's see... what else is there to say. We're working on rehersels and stuff, I've been working on a 2 minute cut of our song. IS ANYONE OUT THERE GOOD AT CUTTING SONGS DOWN?! BECAUSE O___O I NEED ASSISTANCE! AND I'M GETTING FRUSTRATED BECAUSE IT DOESN'T CUT WELL DAMNIT.

*hums to self*

That's all I think... >_> I have too much to do.. I need to make a list.